Monday, 17 March 2008

Ill-informed dismissal of the Swedish as a people

Yeah, so hopefully I'll feel all peace'n'love about the good peoples of Sweden before too long, but for right now there are several things that I think there are a couple of changes they could maybe think about making.

1. Be more rambunctious. I know that few - if any - people maintain the same constant barrage of noisy blather as me, I really do, and it's a good thing, because everybody would want to kill everybody if that was the case, and that would be bad. But seriously, the Swedish are quiet, like you go to a public park and barely anybody is talking at all, not children, not groups of friends, not couples. I'm not saying it's like there's a deathly hush over the land, and certainly all the Swedes we met out on Friday night were chatty as you like, but it's a bit odd - at one point we were in a quite crowded public square and were literally the only ones talking. Though conceivably they were just overawed by our brilliant words and dashing accents.
2. Sort out clearly deficient person to city ratio. Stockholm is pretty big; it could hold twice as many people easily and still look like London after a zombie holocaust. It's silly, and I don't care for it.
3. Lack of blonde nymphomanics. While a perfectly respectable-looking bunch, the Swedes are pretty lame when it comes to living up to national stereotypes. While there are obvious, shallow reasons for wanting there to be a glut of platinum sexfreaks, I do think that if they bred a bit more the whole empty cities/general lack of overt friendliness would be inevitably get sorted fairly sharpish.
4. The price of stuff. Is just ridiculous. No wonder they're all so thin. Yesterday morning, lack of funds meant we breakfasted on two hilariously derisory plates of nachos, washed down with coffee that seemed more loblique insult than bean-based caffeine drink. I think it cost about a trillon kroner and the donation of a major organ each. Pah.

This obviously sounds like I'm whining. Actually our brief time in Stockholm was medium pleasing overall, and in any case we've not even remotely given Sweden a fair chance yet, so bring on Gothenburg in a week's time. However, if there are any representatives of the Swedish tourist board reading this, I just think there's a coupla things you could work on. Tomorrow-ish I shall reveal the full dark tale of what happened on the ferry over to Helsinki. Be prepared for fear, and lots of it.

k thx


Loganoc said...

The question on all our minds though: just how very cold is it really? Have you worn the long johns yet?

MrLukowski said...

Chilly, but far from longjohn time, thus far